Tuesday, 30 June 2015

The Most Unnatural Thing...

"Twonane Milele" is a Swahili phrase meaning "Let us meet in eternity"

It is the most unnatural thing...for a parent to stand before a gravestone and read the name of their child etched in the stone at their feet. The two dates representing the moments in time when your life changed forever. The date of beginnings, the date of endings... the date of joy, and the date of deep sorrow and grief.

Some days I don’t want to get out of bed.
Many times I won’t even look at a calendar. Looking at the calendar only betrays my emotions because each day still feels like it was yesterday when we first received the news that our Kimberly had passed away.

I cry every day... since the news of our daughter’s death. But I have found that the most therapeutic thing I do for myself, is to pray for someone else, and to be concerned with their heartaches. I do have to admit, I sometimes get annoyed with the seemingly petty things people request prayer for, but when I sense myself getting annoyed, I recognize I’m opening the door to allow bitterness to take root, and my Kimberly was too sweet, and too special for me to allow any bitterness to be attached to her memory.

August 24, 2014 our last Sunday Lunch together.
 I am thankful for the grace of God that comforts my broken heart. If it were not for His wonderful grace, I would be consumed by my grief. 

Daily I must choose... to not allow my grief to rob me of my joy.

Daily I must choose... to remember all that was tender, sweet, loving, precious, and unique about my daughter.

Daily I must choose... to not allow my beautiful memories to be marred by this temporal parting called death.

I grieve for my daughter... But I have an eternal certainty beyond this earth that comforts my heart and my soul.
"And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you."

~ John 16:22

"Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God."

~ I Peter 1:21

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."
~ Psalm 116:15

"We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."

~ II Corinthians 5:8

"For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."

~ II Corinthians 5:1

"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:"

~ John 11:25

"And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life."

~ I John 2:25
Aug. 27, 2014. At the AR airport headed back to Kenya.
The last time I held her.

Monday, 8 June 2015

Too Young to Die

Kimberly Renee Coley
Sept. 7, 1986 ~ Dec. 17, 2014
"I was too young to die, that’s what people say.
They can’t understand, why God took me away.
I guess that is something, they have yet to see.
But I have peace in knowing, it was His plan for me.
I was His creation. He gave me every breath.
And He knew all along, the timing of my death.
I know it took you by surprise. It caught us all off guard.
But I hope you will trust in God, though this will be hard.
Let Him bring you comfort. Rest in His embrace.
Call to Him when you’re hurting. Accept His endless grace.
Let Him bring you healing and all your needs supply.
Trust in His loving kindness, when your heart is asking "why?"
For as much as I loved you. He loves you even more.
His will is always best. His motives always pure.
I know right now you’re hurting, everything feels wrong.
But I am safe in Heaven, I’m right where I belong.
And though I hated to leave you, I know you’ll be o.k.
God will be with you, each moment of each day.
Someday we will meet again. God’s promises are true.
He has never let me down and He will not fail you."
(Both) Written by Nicole Madaus

The loss so sudden, the pain so deep,
A part of me is incomplete.
You were here, but now you’re gone,
And I still have to carry on.
How could this happen? How could it be?...
Why did God take you from me?
It hurts so much I can’t explain,
The depths of my grief and pain.
It’s not supposed to be this way,
To lose a child is not o.k.
I’m angry and hurt. I’m full of grief.
I can’t imagine finding relief.
I feel so lost and so alone.
Forced to suffer on my own.
I don’t know what to say or do?
How can I live without you?

I know it was sudden, the pain is deep,
And right now you’re feeling incomplete.
I was there and now I’m gone,
But God can help you carry on.
There aren’t easy answers for why God took me,
But trust in faith what your eyes cannot see.
I know it hurts and you can’t explain,
The depths of your grief and pain.
You lost a child and it’s not o.k.,
But God can get you through each day.
Give Him your anger, your hurt, your grief.
In Him you’ll find peaceful relief.
It won’t be easy, but you’re not alone.
You don’t have to suffer on your own.
Run to Him and stay close by His side,
In His comfort and love you can safely abide.
And though for now we must be apart,
I’ll remain in the memories you keep in your heart.